Chapter I
Feathers and Blood

"Are they not all ministering spirits sent
forth to serve, for the sake of
those who are to obtain salvation?"
Hebrews 1:13-14

   As I made my way further and deeper into the thick fog that was literally swallowing the bottom of the city, I got tangled up in half a dozen clothes lines and barely got electrocuted by three thunder bolts. The air was so thick and moist I was literally soaked wet. I eventually found the small cement cube that you could call my home and noticed, not without a hint of anger, that there were no lights coming out of the door facing the "street". I landed on the edge of the entrance door and folded my wings to get in; the inside was as dark and foggy as the outside and it was obvious my roommate Mivelris---who was sleeping soundly in his suspended chair---hadn't taken care of the clouds making their way in and out of our apartment. Sighing, I hung my coat on the first hook I found, I chased away the milky filaments with three powerful beats of my wings and I intentionally made enough wind to wake up the Sleeping Beauty in the corner, who was just starting to snore. He mumbled a bit and opened his eyes, groggy. "Sal, is that you?" he moaned, rubbing his belly.
   --- No, I answered sarcastically, it's your guardian angel.
   He yawned, stretched his wings as wide as our little room could allow him to and did not find the strength to get up. I asked him why he hadn't checked the flags outside---the ones telling we were approaching a massive depression system---and he just shrugged.
   ---I was totally knackered, he said. I've been studying for the last three hours and I needed a little break.
   I could tell he was honest by the number of books and sheets scattered on the red carpet---a gift from my parents---under the chair. He asked me how much I had made today and when I showed him the five hundred and sixty zalès check I had earned after four days of none-stop work, he smiled and let go of a "blimey!".
   That was a typical evening after work, in the angelic megalopolis we called Heaven Sky City, which was, at that moment, if I remember well, passing over Vancouver and heading south towards the American Mid-West. Of course, the humans were totally unaware that a floating city lodging about two million Angels was silently hovering over their heads. The city itself was invisible and the road it was taking, between two thousand and eight thousand meters above sea level, was calculated so it never interfered human activity.
   Mivelris and I had barely enough money to pay our house, a single room located at the bottom of the citadel, where most of the poor angels lived and that check was actually our lifesaver for another two weeks or so. I considered myself rather unlucky at that time: Mivelris had to pay his schooling---he had failed his last year at the Academy and had to start it over again---and I had to work like a slave to make ends meet. He was working when he had a chance but he earned less that I did and if there had been any god to send prayers to, I would have done so every night of my life, trying to figure out why it was so miserable. But that was all before it happened, before every Angel's life changed forever, before that event that separated the angelic Realm in two.
   I was an ordinary archangel, stuck at the lowest rank of the hierarchy and trying my best to make my way up. It wasn't an easy task: it took fifty times more work for an archangel to earn what a seraphim could in one week.
   --- You look beat, mate, noticed Mivelris while I was taking off my glasses.
   --- Yeah, well I have been working for the last four days, y'know. Can I sleep in the chair tonight?
   --- F'course! I have some time off so I'll go work and try bringing back some bread, 'kay? You just sit your bum on that chair and relax a bit.
   He got off from his beloved seat and put on a hat before walking towards the exit. It was clearing up outside and the night was going to be magnificent.
   ---Don't worry, he added. Soon we'll be out of this naff apartment and we'll have the most pukka house in Heaven, with three floors and a huge balcony.
   I saw him disappear behind the corner of the house in front of ours and I let myself fall in the chair, completely exhausted. I wondered how long we would be able to live like this, always on the run, battling to keep our shelter and working until our wings ached so much we could barely keep from falling down on Earth. I was the first one to move in when I arrived from my hometown, Altacia; I was starting school at the Heaven Sky City Academy, to become a full-fledged guardian Angel and I needed a place to stay between classes and work, of course. But I soon found out that living in the biggest city of the Realm cost a lot and that I wouldn't be able to afford it all by myself. Thus, I placed an ad at school and soon, Mivelris was showing up at my door with his wallet and boxes, ready to live with me. At first, I didn't know how I would ever be able to endure him day and night: he was a loud fellow, a little too easy-going for me and he always seemed in such a good mood it was almost upsetting me. But after I graduated, things started to go a little easier, with a decent job and a little more time to myself. While I wasn't the most extraverted guy you could find, I liked going out in a little pub we called "The Windy" with some old college friends.
   I had travelled so much these last days that every muscle in my body felt like if it was made out of twisted metal. The fog outside had disappeared, meaning we were now out of the masses of clouds we were flying through previously and I could feel a light breeze caressing my skin. There was no glass on the windows, nor there was any door on our entrance: those items were way too expensive and a little futile, knowing Angels did not waste their time breaking in others' houses. And even if anyone tried robbing anything here, he would find himself in a rather embarrassing situation: there was absolutely nothing valuable in the apartment, not even a decent vinyl player. Bah, I liked our little home, even though it was, well, very little. It was perfectly square-shaped; a third of it was hidden behind a pearl curtain---which was hung at a little panel that was actually the improvised wall of the bathroom---and the rest of the space was packed with boxes, shelves and various junk I liked bringing back from the surface. The door was on the north side, to the left and facing the bathroom. The work desk---which was covered with books, pens and scribbles---was longing the west wall, lit only by one round window; on the opposite wall stood another table, smaller but as messy as the desk and this side of the house was pierced by two circular holes. I was sitting in the suspended chair, in the only free corner of the house. There wasn't any bed in the room because Mivelris and I rarely slept at the same time. Plus, Angels hardly slept at all, or drank or ate for that matter of fact and that was keeping us from owning a diner table. Fortunately, I might add because I don't know how we would've been able to fit it in the apartment, anyway.
   I was about to fall asleep but I kept getting those awful flashes in my head, blood spilled on the carpet, a child crying for help, a guy on a bike crossing the street, a bus going too fast, the sky, the screams, the blood... so much blood... so much suffering...
   I guessed I must've fallen in a pretty wild slumber because it was Mivelris who woke me up, shaking me like if I was having an epilepsy attack. I was covered in sweat and my hair was untied, brushing my chin like white spider-webs. I was trying to catch my breath and Mivelris brought me a glass of water, even though we were running out of this precious good. A worried look on his face, he asked me what the hell was wrong.
   --- Nothing, I lied, just a bad dream.
   He frowned and said:
   --- You were having those nightmares again, weren't you? You should stop taking those kind of contracts, chum, you're not made for 'em. Plus, I don't think it's good for you, you're too... too...
   --- Too wuss? Too fragile? Come on Miv, it's not the first time I'm told this.
   I was used to snickers and mean remarks. After all, I was only a mere archangel so it was in my genes to be put down.
   --- Too sensitive, Sal, he retorted, almost insulted. I smiled and I let my head fall in the chair, relieved that those nightmares were over. But it hit me in a split second, it hit me so hard I almost started to cry: they weren't bad dreams, those were the scenes I saw everyday and I knew that the next day, I would see more. I started shaking and breathing hard and Mivelris almost changed colour.
   --- Hey mate, don't freak out on me! Saelius, what's wrong?
   I didn't know what to do. Those were awful times and that was about as crappy as I could feel. Otherwise, I'd keep all that pain to myself and pretend I was fine. But that night, I just couldn't. It was too much.
   --- I'm just sick of this, Miv...
   He was perhaps careless in some ways, but that Angel was the best friend anyone could ask for and I still regret the times I took him for granted. He just brought a chair near me and patted me on the knee. He was dirty, he looked tired and his greyish-purple hair needed a good cleaning. He knew we were in a difficult situation but he never lost hope. What a fool I was.
   --- I'm sick of that job, sick of those contracts on Earth. I can't... I can't see them suffer. I shouldn't have control over them. No one should.
   --- Bah, they're only humans. Hey, you should know how it works, you're the one who graduated, remember?
   I sighed. Since I had begun working for the Heaven Sky City Fate Department, I was even more miserable than the days I was jobless and penniless. I had to go on Earth and follow instructions based on observations made by the Dominions in Des'Falso Universal Observatory. Those orders were always different, sometimes joyful but mostly painful: comfort a little girl who had lost her mother in an accident, convince some drunkard to take the wheel after too many drinks, or the worst of it all, encourage a suicide. You could say archangels acted a bit like the little devil and the little angel you carry on your shoulders: depending on the situation, we made people take the right or the wrong decision. It could have a huge impact on humanity itself or remain only a random fact in the newspaper. No one knew exactly why we had been working for humanity's sake since the dawn of time but it was in our nature to do so and going against it was just... impossible. We had to, period. Angels did not possess a very strong sense of dispute and that was probably the reason why we had been able to survive millennia without any kind of established authority. We had figured out that if everyone did the right thing, stayed inside decent moral rules and did their best to behave like a model citizen, politics were useless.
   --- So, how much did you make? I asked Mivelris.
   He handed me eight blue bills worth ten zalès each and searched in his pocket for some change.
   --- They needed someone to fix a broken gear under the city, y'know, in the floatation mechanism.
   I opened my eyes in surprise and stared at him without blinking. I shout in discontentment:
   --- And they gave you a lousy eighty-seven zalès for it? Miv, you could've got killed!
   I almost fell off my chair, gesticulating like an idiot, and lectured Mivelris on the dangers of accepting any kind of job that was offered to him. He only kept staring at me with his left eyebrow raised and finally said, after I was out of breath:
   --- Crickey, calm down, I know what I'm doing. Hell, I survived Notabalquo for those few decades before moving here so I know the meaning of the word danger. Besides, you know me, I'm tough!
   I sighed and closed my eyes. There was nothing to add to this because no matter how much I argued, I perfectly knew what kind of life the inhabitants of Notabalquo had to endure. Mivelris was born there and had been raised between the fishing nets and the wild waves of the sea surrounding Cape Horn, on the most southern peak of South America.
   Later on, after he was done taking his bath, Mivelris and I decided to go out on the roof to enjoy the "warm" temperature due to our low altitude. It was about thirty degrees under zero but the city kept its heat no matter how high we were.
   We couldn't see much of the sky because down here, the houses were packed like sardines and there was barely enough space between the buildings to let two Angels pass at the same time. The architecture in Heaven was more functional than esthetical: the houses were white, square or rectangle shaped and deprived of any kind of ornaments; they were hanging in the air randomly and without any kind of order, often supporting each other by pillars and connected by clothes lines. Here on the flat roof, we could only see so much because of the clouds making their way between the smallest gap unconquered by the angelic metropolis. Still, it was a great city, so much for its activity than its breathtaking sunset that coloured all of the structures in impossible nuances.
   --- Quiet compared to Notabalquo, stated Mivelris, the wind ruffling his spiky and messy hair.
   --- Noisy compared to Altacia, I snickered back. I rolled down the sleeves of my shirt and raised the Mao collar to warm myself up a bit.
   My roommate then asked me if I was going back to work the next day and I just didn't know what to answer. We needed money but I needed a break. I took some time before answering:
   --- I guess I have no choice. I'll see if I can take care of something paying and I'll take a few days off after.
   --- Good idea, mate. We could go to the Windy sometimes and y'know, flirt a bit and all...
   I laughed and asked him how were the grades doing. We then got in and Mivelris fell asleep in the chair a few minutes after he started revising his astronomy notes.

*****

   An hour later, I decided it was time to go to work and by judging from our current position, we were going to arrive over the East Coast shortly, probably over North Carolina or so. I silently washed my face in the little bathroom that was actually a simple nine meters square of tiles hidden by a beige pane on one side and open on the other side, giving on our little private part of the house, in the shadow of a long pearl curtain. Mivelris' clothes were spread around the place and I simply kicked them with my feet to find what I was looking for: my white and blue shirt with stylish cloud patterns on the bottom and on the end of the sleeves, tied in the front like traditional Chinese outfits. It was a very serious trend and every one wore Mao collars and silk, for those who could afford it. I slipped into assorted blue pants that stopped over my ankles, put on fingerless gloves and tied something you could call a hybrid between shoes and socks on my feet. I grabbed the hairbrush on the big drawer and headed back to the bathroom.
   Some said I had a haughty look while other stated I possessed a sweet smile but I could never guess which one was true; Angels were all fairly good-looking and I wasn't an exception: this milk-like skin tone of mine was a particularity of my hometown and so were the black tattoos I wore under my left eye, which were the colour of the sky on crispy-clear days. I tied my silvery, almost white hair in a small ponytail and put my silver-framed oval glasses on before exiting the house without making any noise.
   Once outside, I jumped in the void, dived a couple of meters before opening my grey and white wings and quickly gained altitude, avoiding other Angels and making my way around flagpoles, clothes lines and under arcs and bridges of various sizes. It was impossible for something else than an Angel to find their path in this immense and disorganised city; since there was no such thing as streets---obviously, cars weren't needed---there were no standard way of knowing where you were going, the city being almost as high as wide. As I proceeded higher, buildings were sparser, more spaced but also much bigger; the air was also a lot cooler and it was sometimes hard to keep balance with those draughts of wind coming from every side. Here, pale and diaphanous fibres of clouds were hanging at flagpoles and accumulated themselves against the immaculate white walls of huge houses, all belonging to the Angels of the upper hierarchy. It was almost painful looking at all that luxury while thinking I had to work like a dog and probably would never be able to afford myself a quarter of those homes.
   I eventually spotted the tower where I was going to pick up my wretched contracts and slowed down the pace to make a landing on one of the many small platforms located near the entrances.
   I very much disliked the atmosphere inside the Fate Department and decided not to waste any time there. Everywhere in the tower, screens, billboards and panels resembling those found in train stations and old airports, were hung at the high walls. Administration Angels flew around, ceaselessly changing data and information on them, raising or lowering prices, shouting and throwing papers on the white marble floor. You could consider it the stock market of the angelic Realm, except that here, we were dealing human lives instead of quotes. Since we were approaching a densely populated region of the globe, the agitation was at its peak and everyone tried getting the easiest, most rewarding contracts available. I met some fellow archangels, their eyes stuck at the big screen in the middle of the room, and their hand half-raised, not to miss any opportunity.
   I did the same as them, scanning the screen for the highest prices available and eventually spotted a number beside which the price was growing rapidly. Hoping no one picked it before me, I let it rose a little bit more, until it reached three hundred zalès. I raised my hand as fast as I could, making some signs with my fingers; the Angel on the pedestal beside the screen removed the number I had picked and signalled me to march towards him. He handed me a ticket and I left the paper-covered floor to get to the contract room. There, I waited in line and finally reached the counter where I was greeted by a girl I knew well. I handed her my ticket and she disappeared behind a door.
   --- Can't wait to have a little vacation, hey Saelius? she said while giving me a large brown envelope.
   I signed my part of the contract, guarantying I wouldn't interfere with anyone else than my client and that I agreed not to make myself known to mankind.
   I exited the tower and sat down on the roof of the first house I could find. Opening that envelope was almost a torture for me but I needed that money more than anything else. Inside was the usual: a file containing all the information I needed to know about my client---which was a girl---and my own instructions. I learned she was nineteen years old, that she was often beat up when young and other facts all so joyful. I sighed. It was a typical case: she was about to commit suicide and I, the supposedly salvation spirit from the sky, was going to show her the right path. Pathetic. That was just pathetic.
   There wasn't any time to lose. I took off and left the city as fast as I could.

*****

   The night was falling over this quiet suburb town and it was so deserted I wonder if it was me or the humans who were invisible. I landed in the middle of the empty street and began to search for the address written down on my instructions. Streetlights flickered when I passed too close but other than that, it was impossible to notice me, with or without equipment. I finally stopped in front of a house identical to all other houses and searched for a way to get in. Yes, even we powerful Angels had to break into houses sometimes. We were not perfect, you know. There was an alarm system but I was quick to short-circuit it and I could freely open the window. Getting in was another story though: it wasn't obvious fitting is such a small orifice when you were over six feet four inches tall and carried wings the size of a small glider on your back. Cussing (silently of course) and twisting, I finally popped in and fell flat on my belly, wondering why humans were so very little. Fortunately, I hadn't woken up anyone and I folded my wings as tight as I could, not to break anything. I asked myself how taller Angels---I was considered a small lad---were ever able to achieve their contracts without messing up the whole house.
   The house was plunged in a deep darkness but I was able to see everything clearly; it was a poorly decorated house with ugly couches, ugly pictures on the wall and ugly carpets. No wonder she wanted to commit suicide, I said to myself. I pushed the door of her room and entered on the tip of my toes. As I suspected, she was having a nightmare and I decided to let her finish her dream before taking some actions. My instruction specified she had to die with her head clear in order to get to Paradise. Why she had to die, that, I didn't know and didn't want to know. I deducted it was for the best anyway, as I read through her personal life file: abusive father, low self-esteem, not many friends, a broken heart at age sixteen, those were the perfect ingredients for a suicide. Plus, her father kept a gun on top of his closet and she knew where he kept the ammo, too. I was used to scenarios like that but somehow, that night felt different. I didn't want to see this brown haired girl die. I wanted to tell the entire angelic Realm to leave humans alone. I decided to make this quick and sat down on her bed, smiling sadly. She would surely spend a few decades in Paradise, if not less, but was it really worth losing a life on Earth with the sunsets, the dreams, the feel of sand between the toes and everything else that beautiful planet had to offer? No one knew what was best, not even the most powerful seraphim and certainly not me. While she could've got over all the troubles of her youth to become a strong, proud woman, the opposite was also true. And I needed that three hundred zalès to pay the rent.
   I bent over her face, stroke her hair and whispered in her ear: "Everything will be fine. Tomorrow, you end your life and give a chance to someone else."
   Being in contact with an Angel was a strange thing for humans, a little like taking drugs: it washed every sad thought away and leaded to a strong sensation of serene emptiness.
   She smiled in her sleep and I sat down on a chair in the corner of her room, waiting for the sun to rise.

*****

   Unmoving, I let her take her time, the gun in her hand and tears falling down on the floor. I had done the easy part of the job by convincing her to take the big leap. Now it was only a matter of split second. She could back down at any moment and I would have to start over everything.
   Right now, she didn't look like she wanted to stop. My only presence was enough for her to feel secure and confident. She raised the gun under her chin and before she pulled the trigger, I concentrated as hard as I could and pasted my hand on her hand to let every ounce of guilt disappear. I felt her body twitch at my radical treatment but it only lasted half a second. I removed my hand just in time to avoid the bullet going through her skull.
   I closed my eyes for a moment, bored and weary. I opened the window and headed back to Heaven, wondering how I would wash that blood from off my shirt.

© 2002 Tsuki